My Uncle, I feel, inherited a good many of his qualities
from his mother & I should like to give some small description
of her. She was a very clever woman; born in an age which gave little
scope for her talents. She was an avid reader & specially interested
in history and politics, which made her sometimes neglectful of her
housewifely duties, which at that time was expected to be the main
preoccupation of women, so that, I am told, my grandfather said “I
sometimes wish you had never been taught to read”. She remarked, “Well,
if I brought the Sallow Skin into the family, I brought the brains
with it, which was certainly true. She had a dominant character,
her will was law, & when grown up her children deferred to her.
They were brought up in a religious atmosphere. Both reading & morning
prayers &
Sunday, a day when any light literature was forbidden.
My father & my uncle attended a little county school – there
was just a year in age between them - they were very attached to each other. The schoolmaster
was a very strict disciplinarian
– the two boys hated him, and on the way home from school, they
used to plan how, when they were big enough and strong enough, they
would kill him. T.J. (as we used to call him) said, “When we
did reach years of discretion we wondered he hadn’t killed us”. He
came to dislike organized religion, but still kept his belief in “the
divinity that shapes our ends”. I remember him saying to me “When
I have to make an important decision, I always pray for guidance.”
He loved
Ireland.
“Ireland” he said “is a land of small houses and
big hearts”
I spent a
weekend at his home in Stansted & said to him “What a lovely
place this is!” He said, “I’d rather have Urker” “Really,
Uncle,” I said, “how could you compare the two? Urker
is a small house with many inconveniences” He said, “Its
not the size that matters, its where one’s roots are.”
Once on a
visit to Belfast he took me to see an old home of his. I met a middle-aged
woman, not particularly good looking. Upon leaving he said, “Well,
what did you think of her?” I said I liked her very much but
I can’t imagine she was ever a beauty.
“Oh,” he said, “you should have seen her when she
was eighteen. Your father and I were both crazy about her.”
He was amused
when having a chat with one of the farm workers, who had been employed
at Urker for many years. “Well Sir,” the man said to
him “You must be about my age, but you don’t look it,
but then you haven’t had so much on your mind as I’ve
had.”.
My mother
told me an amusing story. She was paying a visit to Urker. T.J.,
another uncle &
Aunt were there. In the country people went to bed early & rose
early. Granny considered ten o’clock bed-time. T.J. and the others
planned to go upstairs, & then when they thought it was settled
down, to return and have a chat round the fire. They were comfortably
settled when down came G. in her dressing gown. “I had an idea,” she
said, “you were up to something. You have plenty of time to talk
to each other in the daytime. Now, if you please, you will go to bed.” & to
bed the four (who, at this time had children of their own) went.
I would like
to have included the Porter-Hatton story as it shows TJs dislike of pretentiousness & snobbery,
but as you know, Aunt Louise was Jim Wright’s sister & it might give offence to his son
Mickey and his wife who are living in Ireland.
Perhaps you
may be able to use bits of this screed. It’s the best I can
do.
Kathleen.
Her sister,
my aunt Mary told me this story. T.J. when on a visit to Ireland
was naturally concerned to make the most of his holiday, seeing people,
going places, inviting people to see him. G[randmother]. thought [?] to him,
was getting old & I think found him rather exhausting. She was
very deaf and sometimes said aloud what she was thinking. She walked
to the gates to see him off, & coming back when Mary heard her
say, “God bless you, you are a dear son, but thank goodness,
I don’t have to live in the house with you.
